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::sigh::

Here is your horoscope
for Sunday, January 9:

You're too nice to someone who doesn't deserve it. Remember the sense of accomplishment you felt the first time you stood on your own feet? Recapture that moment while others figure it out for the first time.

I don't like that. =/

Sooo... John and I went out to Denny's tonight. We talked... a lot. It felt like we talked more than we usually do when we see each other. But.. it was time for some communication. I told him what issues I have.. as he did to me. And it was actually good. It's so good when we talk. But I still feel so fucking lousy about it all. I hate this. Just.. when the hell is it gonna be OUR turn? It's just not fair. Great friends. We're really really great friends and I love our relationship together.. but things (for the both of us) are just not.. I don't know. We're just not ready yet. Mentally, we're not ready. Hell, physically I'm ready! LOLOL No no.. just kidding. That I'm not ready for either. It's just.. tonight at rehearsal, I realized that I still have some things floating around in my head that I just haven't been able to let go of. Ever. Soo.. on the drive home tonight, I was freaking out and I was so nervous because I knew I was going to see John tonight. Well anyway, everyone told me to relax and blah blah blah.. but I was right. As soon as I sat down tonight, he KNEW something was up with me. So therefore, I had to spill my guts. Which was actually good. I'm glad we talked.. I just hate feeling miserable like this. We're still going to hand out and all of that jazz, but.. I don't know. Ugh. I just don't knowwwwww. He told me that if I was ready for a relationship and I had the chance, then I should take it. He doesn't want me to be waiting around for him. He wants me to be happy. But obviously, I don't think I'm ready for anything. Blah. I don't know. I'm just gonna stop trying to make sense of everything. At least we're on the same page, right?

Anyway, rehearsal was alright today. I don't have it tomorrow so I don't have to be back until Wednesday. Holler. Not that I don't mind practices.. but damn.. there's just so much that we still have to learrrrnnnn. It's tedious. But it all sounds good! Whatever.

Ehh. I think I should go. I want to read for a little bit. I'll probably update sometime tomorrow.

Night all.

PS. I really don't like it when people threaten me when I have nothing to do with anything that you're talking about. Thanks.

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jersey
dreamstar7
~*DreamStar7*~

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